Being a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) in some circles is a great thing and in others it’s frowned upon. (Don’t believe me? Watch this.) I have been scrutinized for choosing to be a SAHM, and we all know the typical adage of a SAHM sitting around eating bon bons. Ha! There are stereotypes of all kinds of moms, whether you work outside the home or in the home. Why don’t we stop judging people based on stereotypes and commend the actual efforts they are making for their families, amen? Anyway, how can you judge a person based on their title? You can only judge individual behaviors as being lazy, etc. It is possible to be lazy no matter what work you do as a mom.
This is MY cup of tea, it’s okay to have your own.
With all that said I think it’s important to be proud of what you do, give yourself credit for it, and be grateful for the opportunities within your work. While at the same time, own the fact it may not be everyone’s cup of tea but it is yours and that’s okay. Here’s why I’m proud of the work I do as a SAHM, what I have learned as a result of being one, as well as why I’m grateful I get to do it :
I can effectively balance competing demands.
My kids respect my authority.
I save my family tons of money.
I bring peace to my family.
I am a stabilizing presence in my family.
My house is well-maintained. I’ve learned to be a good steward of our belongings.
I know what we need and what we don’t.
My children can be sick and rest and I don’t have to choose between them and outside work.
I have quantity time with my children and therefore quality time happens naturally .
I get to set my own schedule and priorities.
I decide when the work day starts and ends and how strenuous it will be based on everyone’s needs (including mine) .
I have more time to teach my kids about discipline and chores.
I get to be my kids main influence.
I can set aside time for creative pursuits.
I have more control over what I and my family eat because I have more capacity to cook.
My home environment is more peaceful and under control than it would be otherwise.
A side note
This is the way my family and I are choosing to do things and it’s what works for us. We have chosen this way of life because it is in line with our values, temperaments, financial situation, and overall life circumstance in general. We don’t choose it because it is the “right” or only way to do things, and we realize our priorities may change in the future and we are open to that. We make sacrifices to live this way but for us the quantity time we are able to have is well worth it. We are blessed to be able to find a way to make it work, I realize many families can’t especially where there is a very high cost of living.
If you can’t be a stay-at-home mom, or don’t want to, own that and be proud of what YOU do
I also want to note I fully support women working outside the home for whatever reason whether it’s an emotional need or financial need. I also support any woman in getting outside help and outsourcing where she can and where she sees fit even if she’s a SAHM. I don’t think this is indulgent, I think it’s wise. When you outsource you can save your energy on things that are closer to your core values, like more family time, or time to use your blue flame. It’s all a matter of where you think it’s most important for you to be spending your time and making that work according to your financial situation. Money is a tool and I think being wise is putting using your money in a way that aligns with your values and current hopes and dreams. It doesn’t mean always saving money no matter the cost.