The Wrong Way
Do you ever feel like you are doing things the wrong way? In the wrong order? You may be doing things on a different timeline from your peers, you may feel you should already be married or have kids or have a dream career. You may feel you disappointed your parents because you followed a different path than what they hoped for. No matter what your perception of “the right way” is, and how far you are from it, there is still hope for you.
An example of one’s person’s idea of the right way
You feel like you are doing things the wrong way because you know you are supposed to go to college, avoid debt, get married after you graduate to someone you have been engaged to 2+ years (just so you are sure), buy a house and THEN have a baby when you are financially ready and then have another one after waiting 3 years and that’s it. No more babies.
‘Cause, ya know, you gotta be responsible, right?
Of course it is good to be responsible. But NOT to the point of leaving no room for love and for God’s plan. If we were perfect all the time we wouldn’t need God!
Some encouragement from someone who did things in a different way
So yeah. If you didn’t do things the “right way”, it’s okay. Neither did I. I didn’t graduate college though I attended for 6+ years. I married my husband after being with him only a year and neither one of us had a college degree and also had a lot of debt, we had our first baby before we were financially ready (or so we thought) and then our next baby came along only a year later (how irresponsible right? Having two babies so close together?)
But guess what? GOD PROVIDES. I’m still alive and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been because my life is full of love.
I have often felt ashamed because we aren’t debt-free (we are working on it) , I don’t have my degree, etc. (not much because I really want these things but because I think I SHOULD have them to be a decent human ). I have even felt judged by fellow Christians and even those who practice Natural Family Planning (like we do), for being open to life and having two babies so close together. I called my parents crying when I got pregnant with my second because I was afraid I was irresponsible while at the same time we were doing everything to our knowledge to try and space our children “properly.”
I would also compare myself to families who seemed like they had it all together in my “Family Foundations” magazine – people who practiced NFP who seemed to be wealthy, have no debt, owned a home, spaced their kids perfectly, etc. This is why I believe we need more stories of people who genuinely are trying to be prudent but their life has not been picture perfect.
Not an excuse to be irresponsible
Of course don’t be impulsive. Make your discernment based on all the wisdom you have but also have faith. Not everyone’s life will play out the same way because we have all had unique challenges and a different set of resources to work with and that’s okay.
There is still hope for you
You can take heart if your life isn’t playing out the way society or someone else says it should. You can still be happy and you can still dream and set goals and it will all turn out better than your plan. It’s good to make plans, but God is our loving Father and He ultimately knows what is best for us.