19 Ways to Have a Successful Marriage

True love isn’t something you “fall in to” it is something you do, day in, day out , through sickness and in health. A marriage succeeds because of love – caring more for the other’s happiness. (This, however, doesn’t mean you don’t talk about your feelings. This is also of utmost importance.) It isn’t because either spouse is perfect, it’s because both have the desire to do the work. Over the years I have collected words of wisdom on marriage from various sources, and they have helped guide me in times of uncertainty:

1. Never go to bed on your anger.
2. It’s not about 50/50 or who gives more. It’s about both of you giving as much as you can.
3. Accept that marriage is sacrifice.
4. Love without expecting in return.
5. Surprise each other.
6. Give gifts to each other for no reason, even if its small.
7. Be each other’s number one fan.
8. Answer the question “Who are you nicest to?” if its not your spouse, something’s wrong.
9. Ask yourself every day “what have I done for my marriage today?”
10. Set healthy boundaries in your marriage.
11. Put God first, then each other.
12. Energize yourselves so you can energize each other.
13. If you are hurt, upset, say so – in a non-accusatory way. Don’t try to have peace at any price – you will end up resenting your spouse. We all have feelings and we all hurt those we love because we are imperfect beings.
14. Love is a cycle – Romance – Disillusionment – Choose to Love – True Joy
15. Seek to outdo each other in generosity.
16. Seek first to understand.
17. Make time for each other (even when you have kids!)
18. Try replacing your name with Love and ask yourself if the same message applies! “Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.”-1 Corinthians 13
19. And I also always remember the lyrics to the Amy Grant song, “House of Love”-when something this strong gets a hold on you the odds are ninety-nine to one its got a hold on him too…”